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Festivus: A Trekkie's Airing of Grievances

We’ve been watching a lot of Star Trek this winter. And in line with the traditional airing of grievances, here are my complaints about “new” Star Trek, aka Picard and Discovery.

This list contains spoilers.

This list is opinion, not fact.

Make it so.

Picard Season One

Okay. Let’s get sloppy.

(old man shakes fist at stars)

Are we having fun yet? Noooooo….

I am not having fun.

Counterpoint: Jeri Ryan is a treat, and I’d watch her be a Space Ranger all day long.

Discovery

This may be a controversial opinion, but…

Somehow SNG managed to show a crew that was supportive, hard-working, and caring without self-congratulatory victory laps every five minutes. Anytime the crew of Discovery does something faintly positive we have to listen to the swelling music and watch them grin at one another like they’re the hottest shit in the universe.

Crewman: (Burps)

awkward tension

Crewman: “excuse me”

swelling triumphant music plays

bridge staff beams at each other, taking profound personal pride in this moment of excellence

Crewwoman: “Shall we, Captain?”

Burnham: “We shall, crewwoman who we barely know after three seasons. We shall!

Ugh. UGH! Discovery has a lot of imagination and many likable characters. I want to like it. But I hate-watch it because… it’s so dang cringey.

Counterpoint: Saru is everything a captain should be.

In Conclusion

Hate-watching is itself a form of entertainment, therefore I must confess to being entertained with new Trek. But now that I’ve completed my airing of grievances I will soothe my salty Gen-X heart in SNG/Voyager reruns. They’re much more my style.

Happy festivus, Trekkies.